It was a year ago today that I received a phone call that changed my life. Initially we didn’t know it, but our mom was already gone. The rest of the day was spent dealing in formalities at the hospital. But today, I don’t want to focus on the shock and pain of the day. I have something else to share with you…
A few months after my mom passed away, I asked a couple of my close friends from high school if they had any memories of my mom they could share with me. You know, sometimes you can be too close to your parent and the life circumstances you share with them to really see them as people and to truly appreciate their value.
I think it is possible that your friends in high school are the ones who get to know your parents best. I know that as close as my friends from college are, they never knew my mom very well. There’s just an independence that comes with being away at college that is vastly different than high school. Anyway, today I’d like to share with you a couple of excerpts from the memories two of my close friends shared with me about my mom.
Friend #1’s Memories:
I remember her cracking little jokes on her way through the kitchen while we were sitting at the table or coming into the living room to chat with us a bit and she would just laugh and laugh at whatever antics we were up to that day. She was definitely a “cool mom”. I could come and go there as I pleased regardless of whether you were even home or not. And there was always the chips and hot sauce thing, I always loved that she paid enough attention to what your close friends liked and kept them on hand. I remember you would have these random gatherings with all different kinds of people and she never seemed to mind at all who was in the house and what was going on because everyone just had such a nice time there.
I had always wished that things like that were possible at my house and I was a bit jealous but relieved at the same time that I had you and your family in my life.I realize that sometimes you can literally know facts in your head, but that for various reasons you can’t know them in your heart. I can imagine that this is something you’re really struggling with in this aftermath, but I know your mom loved you and Amber immensely!
Friend #2’s Memories:
as im sure you recall that was a hard time for me as well in high school, and I remember feeling how wholesome and loving your home was when I came over…it was like a balm to my spirit, a look in to how it was “supposed to be” before and after your parents’ divorce. I remember she was always so kind to me, and would always be baking and cooking goodies, welcoming me to try everything, and making me feel comfortable…for some reason I remember sunny afternoons there..she would always look happy to see me, with a great sense of humor and a smile, a jokester:) It was like being able to sample what it was like having a mother involved “for real” I could always see how much she loved you…
You know I was just thinking this morning on other topics, realizing I had been focusing on the “dark side” (sorry, star wars reference:) ) lately…and I already feel better just realizing that, so I can make a change –
Your mother brought a light with her for others, at least thats how I felt.
Wow. I was really blown away by their words. If you didn’t know her, I hope that these short reflections help you to appreciate who she was to those around her. If you did know her, I hope they help you to remember the good in the midst of the lingering pain and grief.
I looked up the meaning of her name this morning and it means “one who resembles God”. After reading my friends’ words, I can see that in many ways she resembled Him to them and was a blessing to their lives. I hope that I will continue that legacy of refuge, hospitality, and love throughout my life as a tribute to her.
Rest in Peace–Michelle Renee Critchlow–April 25, 1961 to July 29, 2008